Alpha to Omega
by FaustusianSutcliff
Summary: Dean remembers the first time he took the hormones. He was eighteen and had stayed home from school while their dad was on a hunt. Sam was at school and Dean was alone. He had stolen a packet from the nearby pharmacy and nicked a beer from the fridge. He remembers the momentary feeling of euphoria and then pain. And the hospital and his dad's face in his peripheral vision.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Supernatural. They belong to Eric Kripke.**

 **A/N: I got this idea awhile back and I decided to flesh it out to see how it goes. This idea does play on the transgender issues but more so with omegaverse and Alpha to Omega transitioning.**

 **This is also Wincest**

 **Comment's always welcome. If the content bother's you please don't leave negative comments.**

 **One**

"You don't have to be here for this…" Dean said.

He bounced his fingers on his knees as he and Sam sat in the waiting room of the small clinic with him.

"Course I do," Sam replied. He reached over and squeezed Dean's shoulder reassuringly. "I think what you're doing is brave Dean."

Dean rolled his eyes and didn't say anything. He ignored the looks the other people in the clinic were sending their way. There were mainly omega and alpha couples with a few betas and single omegas.

Dean knew he was nervous, and a little uncomfortable. His scent was no doubt making the omegas shrink closer to their alphas, and Dean resisted the urge to do the same. He was starting to regret allowing Sam talk him into this and almost stood to leave.

"Dean Smith?" The nurse said.

She was a small petite blond and she eyed Sam and Dean like two slabs of meat while simultaneously blushing like a schoolgirl as they walked over. Sam had his hand on the small of Dean's back, his own taller frame blocking the action from everyone's view as the nurse led them down a small hall.

"Just have a seat, Dr. Roberts will be here shortly," she told them.

Dean sat down in the plastic chair and rubbed his palms on his knees. "Maybe we should just leave…" he said.

"Just relax Dean, we're just here to find out some information okay?" Sam replied. "Look at me."

Dean huffed out a breath but looked at his brother and Sam leaned in giving him a chaste kiss. He leaned into it, despite the possibility of them getting caught and felt a bit better once they parted.

"Good afternoon gentleman," an older man said as he walked into the exam room. A beta. That made things a little easier.

"Afternoon," Sam nodded in greeting.

The elder man sat down in the cheap rolling chair and picked up the medical information Dean had filled out. He looked it over, nodded in satisfaction, and fixed the two with a neutral look.

"What seems to be the problem?" He asked.

Dean's tongue felt like it was stuck to the room of his mouth. He couldn't do this.

"I'd like some information on Alpha to Omega transitioning," Sam said before Dean could bolt. He had the decency to look embarrassed and even his scent changed to a salty musk.

Dean chanced a glance at the doctor.

"Is that so?" The doctor asked. "Are you considering the procedure?"

Sam nodded a little stiffly keeping to the embarrassed but also nervous act.

"My older brother filled out the medical information for me because I...I was just too nervous," Sam ducked his head letting his hair curtain his face.

Dean swallowed. "My brother's been feeling this way his whole life," he added. "Our dad...He, uh, wasn't too supportive you know."

Dr. Roberts nodded. "Well, I don't know how much you know of the procedure," he said. He went to one of the drawers and pulled out a few different pamphlets. "It's not something to be taken lightly. Now, you don't seem the type to joke about something like this so I'll write you a prescription for omega pheromones. It won't be as potent as being an honest omega but you will feel what they feel. If you are serious about this, give me a call and we can see about starting the next steps." He gave Sam the pamphlet and the prescription note.

Dean sagged against Sam once they were in the safety of the Impala and closed his eyes.

"Bitch…"

He felt, rather than saw, Sam's small chuckle and felt his lips against his forehead.

"Jerk."

"You didn't have to do that," Dean sighed.

"You were gonna bolt," Sam replied. "Couldn't let you do that."

Dean snorted. "Why not?" He opened his eyes and watched a couple people walk out of the clinic.

"Dean…" Sam said, using his 'you deserve so much and I want to give you everything' voice.

Dean shook his head and sat up to put the key into the ignition. Sam tucked the pamphlets into their duffels on the back seat as Dean pulled out of the clinic parking lot and drove to the nearest pharmacy.

"You want me to get it?" Sam asked as they parked.

"No...Yes...Fuck I don't know," Dean answered. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Yeah, yes, grab some beer too would you?"

Sam nodded and Dean waited as he went into the small grocery store. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and watched people walk in and out.

He was getting a bit impatient when Sam walked out with the plastic bag. He set it on the seat between them as he got in.

"Swear that pharmacist gave me the fifth degree," Sam muttered. "Thought I was gonna use it for sex or something."

"Well….it sometimes is used for just sex, or for Alphas to experience what their mate goes through sometimes," Dean said with a shrug. "Sort of a literal 'Take a walk in my shoes'".

Sam blinked. "How do you know that?"

"...You're not the only one who does research," Dean muttered. "Where to next?"

Sam flipped through the possible leads he saved on his phone. "Looks like there's something over in Washington. Nest of vampires."

"Been looking forward to chopping something's head off, let's check it out," Dean said as he pulled a U and started driving in the right direction.

Sam chuckled and put his phone back into to his pocket and stretched out as best as he could. He saw Dean shifting glances between the bag between them and the road every so often and licked his lips.

"Should pull over for the night," Sam said after the sun had set and the roads were dark save for the impala's headlights and a few passing cars.

"We're like halfway there," Dean replied.

"I'm hungry, and tired," Sam said. "There was a sign that mentioned a Shari's and a motel. Please?"

"Only because they've got decent pie," Dean answered.

Twenty minutes later they pulled into the restaurant's parking lot and got out. The hostess led them to a booth and they sat down across from each other.

"You wanna try it out when we get to the motel?" Sam asked once they put in their order. "Or we could wait." He could sense Dean's hesitation and didn't want to press him if he was still nervous.

Dean picked up his beer. "After the hunt...We'll go to one of Bobby's cabins or something."

Sam nodded. "Alright, sounds good."

He thanked the waitress when she returned with their orders and picked up his fork, digging into his salad.

* * *

"Think it'll feel weird?" Dean asked.

"Hmm?" Sam turned his head at the sound of Dean's voice half asleep and half listening to his brother.

"Those pills," Dean answered.

Sam wrinkled his nose as Dean moved around in the smallish bed. Two grown Alphas were not meant to sleep together in a small twin. He opened his eyes and they adjusted to the dark. Dean's weight was solid on top of him where he was straddling his hips.

Bare skinned, and the moonlight hitting his eyes just right to give them a soft glow. Sam reached up and ran his fingers down Dean's chest.

"Weird how?" Sam asked. "It's just supposed to make you feel like an omega right?"

"Feel...act...smell," Dean trailed off and it took Sam a moment to realize Dean was a bit giddy at the prospect. And aroused. He leaned down and pressed flush against Sam and kissed him. He curled his fingers into Sam's hair and tugged.

Sam groaned low in this throat and bucked up slightly. "Fuck, should take you out when you take 'em. Then I can properly show everyone you belong to me."

Dean chuckled and grazed his teeth over Sam's scent gland. "Yeah? Gonna mark me up nice and good baby boy? Make me your bitch?"

Sam growled and grabbed Dean's hips. He tugged at Dean's boxers and whined when the older male pulled away to take them off, Sam's followed suit and the clothing landed on the floor. He flipped them and used his body to press Dean into the mattress and spread his legs.

"We're gonna do whatever you want after the hunt," Sam promised as he got the lube. He kissed the inside of Dean's thighs and coated his fingers.

Dean arched a little as Sam thrust in two fingers working to stretch him. "Anything?" He breathed.

"Anything, carnival season you know. Could go to the county fair in Oregon for once," Sam said as he added a third. "Win you a teddy bear. How does that sound?"

"Yeah?" Dean moaned. "Win you a giant slinky. Always wanted to get you one of those. Loved those things when you were a kid."

Sam chuckled and leaned up to kiss him. He removed his fingers and slicked up his member and lined up with Dean's hole. Dean had an arm hooked around Sam's neck keeping him close and moaned as Sam started to push in.

A steady stream of filth mixed with love was whispered into Dean's ear while Sam set a slow pace. He'd pull out til the head of his cock was just inside and thrust back in, rocking them together.

"Feel so good Dean. Always so tight, could stay inside you all day," Sam panted into his neck. He mouthed at Dean's scent gland and bit down gently as he thrust harder and faster.

Dean panted beneath him and started to stroke himself fast. "Oh fuck," he moaned. The hand still curled in Sam's hair yanked his head back and Dean bit down hard on his collarbone as he climaxed. He tasted salt, and the coppery tang of blood.

Sam held himself inside Dean as he came. He looked forward to the large hand sized prints that'd be on Dean's hips in the morning. He pulled out slowly once Dean released him and watched his cum slide out of Dean's stretched and red hole. He teased it gentle with his fingers.

"Stop," Dean huffed out and tried to slap his hand away. He rolled over onto his stomach. "S'gross."

"Not gross," Sam leaned down to kiss Dean's shoulder and got up to get a towel bathroom. He cleaned Dean up and got him into the other bed and pulled the blanket over them once they settled.

"Did you mean it?" Dean asked. "What you said?"

"Every word," Sam promised.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Supernatural. They belong to Eric Kripke.**

 **A/N: I got this idea awhile back and I decided to flesh it out to see how it goes. This idea does play on the transgender issues but more so with omegaverse and Alpha to Omega transitioning.**

 **This is also Wincest**

 **Comment's always welcome. If the content bother's you please don't leave negative comments.**

 **Two**

Dean looked over the back of the tablet box. His eyes scanned the warning. Do not take with alcohol, do not operate machinery. Do not take more than the recommended amount. Drink plenty of water.

He was to take two with food. Wait an hour before the tablets took effect. He opened the package and popped out two of the baby blue colored tablets. They were small. Reminded Dean of Aleve.

He looked at his phone. Sam wouldn't be back for a couple hours. Plenty of time. He went to the kitchen of the small cabin Bobby kept just outside of Portland.

They had made a beeline for it the second they chopped off the last vamp's head and burned the bodies. Dean's shoulder still ached from Sam popping it back into place.

He set the pills on the kitchen counter and made himself a sandwich and grabbed a handful of chips and a glass of water. He finished everything in record time and picked up the small pills. Rolled them around in his hand before putting them into his mouth and downing the glass of water.

He grimaced at the taste and put his dishes in the sink before going to shower. He took his time. Wanted to be thorough. He stepped out once his skin was pink from scrubbing and wrapped a towel around his waist.

Sam was waiting for him in the bedroom. He had a few shopping bags.

"When'd you get back?" Dean asked.

"Ten minutes ago," Sam shrugged. "Figured I'd wait for you to get out."

"What's in the bag?" Dean asked.

"I picked up a few things...You don't have to wear it if you don't want too, I just uh, thought you might want to dress in something other than our ratty stuff. I even got myself a few things to wear," Sam answered. He blushed a little, either out of embarrassment or nervousness.

Dean found it endearing. He picked up one of the shopping bags on the floor and dumped the contents on the bed.

Lots of light and soft fabric. Some lighter colored jeans and capris and long sleeve sweaters. And a few pairs of shoes. All in Dean's size.

"Like I said you don't have to wear it if you don't want to…" Sam repeated.

Dean ran his fingers over a few of the sweaters. "What color do you like?"

"Green," Sam answered after a beat. "Matches your eyes."

Dean nodded and finished drying off. He reached for a pair of boxers and Sam grabbed his arm. "I um…" he ran his tongue over his teeth. His gaze flitted to the small black bag and Dean raised an eyebrow.

Sam watched him as he picked up the bag and looked inside.

"Didn't know you were so kinky," Dean teased. He held up a pair of underwear. Light pink with lace trim along the top and bottom.

There were a couple pairs of women's briefs, bikini style, and boyshorts. Each in light soft colors except for the more lacey thongs.

Sam averted his gaze. "Omegas like soft and pretty things right? And you mentioned that you always wanted to try panties…"

Dean picked up of a pair of green bikini bottom panties and selected his choice outfit.

"You should start getting ready," he said before going back to the bathroom.

He finished drying himself off and pulled on the panties. The grey denim capris came on next. They hugged his ass and thighs. Not too tight and not too loose. The belt was silver studded and the metal buckle was cool against his skin. He already felt a little warm. He pulled on the shirt. Light green and soft. Baby skin soft. Felt nice against his skin.

Sam was doing the last button of his shirt when Dean returned. A black button up, with faded jeans and a grey vest. He had on a black beanie and was trying to brush his hair so it stayed more flat.

"We look like real Oregonians," Dean joked as he looked over their appearances.

Sam chuckled. "Just a little bit."

Dean looked through the shoes Sam picked out knowing his boots wouldn't really go well with the capris and pulled on the black Converses.

"How do I look?" Dean asked. "And lie if you have to."

Sam ran his gaze over his older brother and nodded. "You look good. Fitted clothes bring out your shape really good." He smiled.

Dean swallowed and nodded a little. "So do you. I mean, you could use a hair cut."

Sam rolled his eyes and shoved him a little. Dean grinned and shoved back and they landed on the bed in a tangle of limbs as they started an impromptu wrestling match that ended with Dean on top of Sam holding him down by his wrists.

"Every time," Dean smirked.

"Jerk," Sam huffed.

"Bitch," Dean shot back.

He leaned down and kissed him, suddenly giddy, and let go of Sam's wrist.

"Smell good," Sam murmured, nuzzling him.

Dean shivered. "Hormones must be working. Supposed to make me smell more like an Omega."

"S'working," Sam replied. "Still smells like you...Gunpowder, oil, and dirt." He pressed his face against Dean's scent gland. "Sweet like apples and cinnamon."

"You saying I smell like apple pie?" Dean snorted.

"Lil' bit," Sam smiled as he pulled away.

Dean rolled his eyes and stood up. "Just don't eat me."

"Don't know, you taste pretty good," Sam teased and licked his lips for extra measure.

Dean shook his head and grabbed the keys to the Impala and his jacket. "Come on. You said you were gonna win me a giant teddy bear."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I thought the hormones were supposed to make you less bossy."

"Don't act like you don't like it," Dean said. He locked the cabin door behind them and looked at the car keys and held them out to Sam. "One scratch and I'll kick your ass."

"When have I ever scratched her?" Sam asked. He unlocked the passenger door and held it open for Dean.

Dean felt his cheeks warming at the gesture and slid into the leather interior. Sam shut the door and quickly jogged around to the driver side and got in. The engine purred and Dean relaxed at the noise. His stomach was in knots and he was tempted to make up an excuse so they could stay in but every time Sam glanced over at him as he drove he was smiling and grinning. He was proud. Proud of Dean. And that...That felt good.

The sun was just about setting when they made it to the fair grounds. Sam parked Baby off to the side where, Dean secretly hoped, she wouldn't get scratched up. A couple people glanced over and admired her and Dean felt himself preening as Sam held the door open for him.

"And you say washing her every couple weeks is a waste of time," Dean smirked.

Sam rolled his eyes and draped an arm around Dean's shoulders. The hormones were in full force now. Dean couldn't pick out the subtle change in his scent as well as Sam could, but he felt different. Happier, relaxed. He didn't feel the need to mark his territory.

Sam's scent was more potent to him. Leather and earth and musk. He buried his face into Sam's shoulder and inhaled til his lungs felt like they were going to burst.

"Dean?" Sam sounded concerned.

"Just...Just give me a minute," Dean breathed.

Sam nodded and rubbed his back. Dean slowly opened his eyes and blinked a couple times.

"M'good," Dean mumbled. He pulled away but stayed tucked under Sam's arm.

Despite them both being Alphas, the height difference always felt nice. Dean liked how he fit under Sam's arm.

"How about I win you that giant teddy bear?" Sam said.

Dean nodded and they walked over to one of the game booths. Sam took a few dollars out and set them on the counter and the vendor gave him a few basketballs. Sam grinned as he sunk each shot.

"Which prize do you want?" The game vendor asked.

"One giant teddy bear to go with my sasquatch here," Dean answered.

The vendor chuckled and grabbed down one of the large bears and gave it to Sam. He thanked the man and they made a quick trip back to the Impala for safe keeping and stopped at a food stall.

"You want a beer?" Sam asked.

"Coke," Dean answered.

Dean remembers the first time he took the hormones. He was eighteen and had stayed home from school while their dad was on a hunt. Sam was at school and Dean was alone. He had stolen a packet from the nearby pharmacy and nicked a beer from the fridge. He remembers the momentary feeling of euphoria and then pain. And the hospital and his dad's face in his peripheral vision.

He shuddered at the memory and curled into Sam. Sam kept his arm around Dean as he ordered for them and dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

"You know...Dad wasn't just angry," Sam said after a while.

"He was livid," Dean replied. "His son wanted to be an omega...Not some aggressive alpha." He tore off a piece of the funnel cake and licked the sugar off his fingers.

"Look, I know I'm the first one to jump on the 'Dad was a jackass father' wagon but," Sam started. He gently grabbed Dean's arm to stop walking. "I...I was the one that called him that day. When we got the hospital I called him and he wasn't angry, he was worried about you. He left in the middle of his hunt to drive overnight because he was worried about you and yeah, when he found out why he was pissed but only because what you did was dangerous…"

"How come I didn't know that?" Dean frowned.

"You seemed pretty out of it Dean," Sam reminded him. "Mixing the hormones with beer can really mess you up."

Dean grimaced. "Don't remind me." He offered a piece of the funnel cake to Sam. "You think he'd be cool if he knew that I'm gonna go through with it?"

"Honestly? I don't know," Sam admitted. "I think, it'd take him a while to wrap his head around it, fully accept it."

"I like to think he would," Dean admitted. He toed the ground. "Used to daydream that we were in one place. And...And you were going to college in state, Dad had his own garage, maybe even a consultant for hunters or something... Sometimes... Sometimes I'd be going through the transition and on the bad days we'd just sit around and watch movies or something. You and me on the couch and Dad half asleep in his recliner... Sometimes it'd be better and you and I...We were mated, and happy and Dad was happy for us and-" Dean cut himself off with a soft inhale and Sam wiped a few tears away with his thumb.

"It's stupid," Dean added. "It was a stupid day dream…" he swatted Sam's had away and wiped his face off and shoved another piece of funnel cake in his mouth.

He spotted one of the squirt gun games and started making his way over.

"Gonna win you that giant Slinky," Dean tossed Sam a small smile over his shoulder. "So you stand there and look pretty."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You're the one pretty one here."

"Damn right," Dean smirked.

He sat down on and set a five down on the counter.

"You sure this is the game for you sweetheart?" A burly alpha asked walking over.

Sam started to step up and Dean gave a subtle shake of his head. He looked at the Alpha through his lashes.

"I'm pretty sure I can do it," he said.

"Yeah?" The alpha smirked now.

"Tell you what," Dean rest his chin on his palm. "Let's make a bet. I lose, I'll go home with you and," he put down a hundred dollar bill. "you can give Benjamin here a new home. I win, and you promise not to act like a stereotypical bastard. How's that sound?"

The guy barked out a laugh and dropped in the seat next to Dean. He added his own hundred to the pile.

"Get ready to lose bitch," the guy smirked.

"The only bitch here," Dean made sure to pop the 'b' "is you." He grinned as the balloon quickly filled up with air and burst declaring him the winner. The angry huff the alpha gave was an added bonus as Dean collected his giant Slinky and two hundred dollars.

"Shouldn't do that," Sam said as they walked away.

"He had it coming," Dean replied. "And, we got an extra hundred."

Sam shook his head and wrapped his arm around Dean. "You gotta be careful Dean…"

"Why? I've got you. My big, strong alpha," Dean said. He leaned up to kiss him. "You'll kick their asses for me right?"

Sam huffed but smiled. "You'll willingly let me beat up people for you? No bitching and moaning about how you can take care of yourself?"

"Kinda hot when you go all Alpha on me like that," Dean licked his lips. "Bossing me around, manhandling me. S'hot."

"Yeah?" A smirk tugged at the corner of Sam's mouth. "Like being my bitch? Letting your baby brother show you who's really in charge?"

Dean's not sure whether the noise that pulled from him was a whine or a growl of encouragement. Warmth was pooling in the pit of his stomach and he nuzzled Sam.

Sam's hand dropped lower to his ass and squeezed.

"Smell so good Dean," he practically growled. "Fuck."

Dean stumbled a little as Sam suddenly pulled away. He blinked and looked up at him.

"Uhh…"

"Later," Sam promised. His pupils were blown side and he ran a tongue over his protruding canines. "Wanna take my time...Not have some fast fuck in the bathroom."

"Fast fucks in the bathroom are fine with me," Dean said. He just wanted Sam. He didn't care how or where.

Sam rolled his eyes and took his hand. "Come on. I'll buy you some pie."

"You can't distract me with pie," Dean pointed out as they started walking.

"You sure? Cause you're just about dragging me back to the pie stand," Sam pointed out.

"...Shut up bitch," Dean muttered.

* * *

"Sammy," Dean whined and panted. "Haven't you teased me enough?" His breath hitched as Sam gave another lick at his hole.

"Told you, wanted to take my time," Sam said from between Dean's thighs. "God, you're even making your own slick Dean." He teased his twitching hole with his fingers. They met no resistance and he rubbed Dean's walls gently.

"Sa...Sam," Dean felt his toes curls as his fingers thrust deeper and against his prostate.

"Come on Dean, know you wanna cum." He kissed Dean's thigh and added a bit more pressure.

"Wa...Wanna cum with you ins..inside me ja...jackass," Dean stammered. He clenched around Sam's fingers.

Sam pulled his fingers out with one last stroke and poured some more lube into his hand for extra measure and stroked himself. He pressed the head of his length to Dean's hole and reached up to grab one of Dean's hands, intertwining their fingers.

He slowly sank in with a low groan and pulled a high pitched moan from Dean. He wanted to keep it slow and even but Dean fluttered and clenched around him each time he thrust in. He squeezed one of Dean's hands, the other gripping his hip as he thrust faster. Dean raised his hips to meet him.

Dean's lips found Sam's and they kissed. All teeth. Panting and moaning. Rutting together like a couple of horny teenagers. His free hand curled in Sam's hair. Tugging and stroking.

"Oh fuck," Dean choked out.

It took Sam a minute to realize his knot was starting to form. He could feel it dragging across Dean's rim. Dean squeezed his hand and arched. Baring his throat. Sam bit down without thinking. Sank his teeth in, growling against Dean's neck.

Dean came first. Thick ribbons coating their chests, he squeezed tight around Sam spurring his own release. Locked inside Dean.

"Fuck," Dean shifted a little and Sam gripped his hip tighter growling softly.

"Do...Don't move," Sam huffed. "S'really in there dude."

He gave an experimental tug and Dean clenched with a whimper. He stroked Dean's hips softly.

"Just relax," Sam cooed.

"Didn't think you'd actually knot," Dean breathed.

"It's the hormones," Sam swallowed. "Those things are strong."

"No kidding," Dean let out a strained chuckle. "You're heavy."

"Sorry…" Sam licked his hips. "I'm gonna try and move okay?"

Dean nodded and squeezed his eyes shut as Sam slowly started to shift them around until Dean had his back to Sam's chest with one of Sam's legs thrown over him so they were spooning.

The movement caused another mini orgasm and Dean felt another rush of warm fluid. Sam let out a low groan and buried his face in Dean's neck.

"Guess it's a good thing these are only hormones right?" Dean licked his lips. "Otherwise we'd be fucked considering I'm not taking birth control or anything…"

Sam stopped rubbing Dean's hips for a beat before picking it up again. "Would it be so bad if you weren't on birth control and these weren't just hormones?"

"We're not really cut out for kids at the moment…" Dean frowned. "We don't even have a real place."

"We could get one," Sam mused. "When you start your hormone therapy."

Dean had to smile because Sam said 'when' and not 'if'. Because Sam was right. He was gonna go through with it.

"Like...settle down? Drop out of the game?" Dean asked.

"We're not gonna drop out of the game," Sam answered. "We'll just take it easy. Could even stay here you know? Hunt close by. What do you say?"

Dean nodded and turned his head to kiss Sam. "I'll call Bobby in the morning."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Supernatural. They belong to Eric Kripke.**

 **A/N: I have a really bad habit of switching between past and present tense, so super sorry about that. I tried to fix most of it.**

 **A/N: I hope this clears up some more confusion**

 **This is also Wincest**

 **Comment's always welcome.**

 **Sam Remebers**

Sam's always known Dean's never felt completely comfortable in his own skin. Dean was 13, and Sam had just turned 9. Their dad couldn't have been prouder. They had went out for dinner. Got to eat whatever they want.

Dean had gritted his teeth through the entire day. Sam remembered Dean taking him to the store a couple days after while John was out on a hunt and using money to buy scent blocking body soap. Dean was in the shower for an hour and went he came out he smelled medicinal. Plain. Boring. But Dean was smiling so Sam kept his mouth shut and acted like he didn't know.

He remembered when Dean first took hormones three years later. He had come from school to a sickly smell and Dean curled up on the motel floor clutching his abdomen, pale, shivering, and vomiting.

Sam's fingers were steady when he called 9-1-1, his fingers were shaking when he called their father. He found the little pills and flushed them down the toilet, before kneeling next to Dean and stroking his hair.

There hand't be a point lying to the hospital, or their dad. Sam kept waiting for their father to deny it. Say the tests were wrong but the look in his eyes said he knew it was true. They had left Dean to sleep in the hospital room and Sam went with their dad to a nearby pharmacy and watched their father purchase scent blockers for Dean.

"Is Dean sick?" Sam remembered asking.

"No Sammy," John sighed. "Dean's not sick...he's just…" John scrubbed a hand down his face and patted Sam's leg. "I'll explain it to you when you're older alright?"

Sam nodded and clutched the bag of scent blockers in his hand.

Sam, of course, found out on his own in high school health. Dean was transdynamic. Everyone is born with a gender and a dynamic. You're either born male, or female, and alpha, omega, or beta. Transexual if you felt you should be a girl and not a boy, or a boy and not a girl, but there were some who felt that maybe there were meant to be an alpha and not an omega or a beta, or vice versa. That was considered transdynamic. Not as common mainly because who would want to be an Omega when you could be an Alpha?

Sam remembers the first time he and Dean fooled around. Shortly after Sam presented as Alpha, John had been on a hunt so Dean took him out and they celebrated.

Sam had presented late. He was 16. Dean was twenty.

He had used his fake ID to buy them beer. The good stuff. And he made burgers in the small functioning kitchen of the apartment they had rented out for the month. And they drank too much and then Sam remembers Dean going down on him.

Hot wet heat. His fingers tangled in Dean's blonde locks as he took Sam all the way down to the base. Sam swears it's the best blow job he's ever gotten. Nevermind that it came from his older brother and that they were both Alphas.

The first time they had sex was a week before Sam left for Stanford. It was quick and dirty in the back of the Impala after a quick salt and burn. Their jeans shoved down to their ankles. Dean straddling him and riding him so hard the car shook on its frames and Sam was seeing stars.

Sam swallowed once they'd cleaned themselves up and had sprawled out in the back seat. Dean had somehow fit his body into Sam's and had an arm draped over his hips.

"Can I ask you something?" Sam had kept his voice low.

"Already did Sammy," Dean answered.

Sam rolled his eyes and focused his attention on some of Dean's freckles. "Do you like being an Alpha?"

Dean was silent. "No…" he finally answered. "I don't."

Sam nodded a little. "How come?"

"I don't know," Dean said. "I just, I don't feel right as an Alpha...I never have Sam. The day I presented was the worst day of my life. Some people are made to be Alphas like you and Dad, but me...I'd rather be anything but an Alpha."

"But you want to be an Omega," Sam said. He braced himself for the denial. Or a punch in the face or both.

"Yeah," Dean replied. "Is that weird?"

"No...it's just…" Sam wasn't sure how to word it. "I always thought you liked being an Alpha. You're strong, independent, you don't take anyone's crap and you're a hit with...well everyone."

Dean sighed. "You wouldn't understand alright?"

Sam doesn't say anything after that.

He doesn't like to remember the night he left for Stanford. Or the way he left Dean thoroughly fucked and dead to the world. Sated and happy. He doesn't like to remember the phone calls. Dean's broken voice.

The phone calls got further apart, once every couple weeks, then months, then sporadically.

When Sam met Jess, she helped ease the ache. He confided in her, talked to her about Dean. About Dean being trans. She eased the ache in his chest and it was easier to lose himself inside her. She was warm, and smelled like flowers and she was a beta. He was happy with her, and he could imagine spending his life with her. Be normal.

Sam remembers when Dean came back. And when Jess died. They were brothers then. Just brothers and Dean smelled like gunpowder and oil. Sam never brought up the pamphlet on Alpha and Omega transitioning he'd found. Sometimes in the glove compartment, sometimes on the nightstand. Once shoved in between the leather seats of the Impala.

Sam never brought it up until Dean did. After the vampire hunt with their father. After they'd patched each other up. After they'd had sex. In the shower, on the floor, in the bed on scratchy motel sheets.

"I've never felt right you know?" Dean had said. His fingers curled in Sam's hair, while Sam had his head on Dean's chest listening to his heartbeat.

"Have you always felt that way?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "When I was younger, it was more like an itch you know? Like I just knew and when I presented as an Alpha, it, it felt wrong Sam. I felt wrong."

"You feel pretty great to me," Sam tried to joke.

Dean chuckled a little. "Always the sweet talker." He sighed and dropped his hand as Sam started to sit up.

"How come you never said anything to Dad?" He asked.

"What was I supposed to say?" Dean asked. "'Hey dad, I know you're super proud of having two sons who are Alphas, but I'd rather be an omega and take a fat knot right up my ass'. I couldn't even buy scent blockers without him giving me this look like I had rejected him. So I went with it. Playing the part he wants me to to play and it's not bad, it got better when you presented. I know, before, you were just humoring me-"

"I wasn't humoring you Dean," Sam interrupted.

"Yes you were, you thought I was weird for always wanting to let you fuck me. Manhandle me, boss me around in the bedroom," Dean shrugged a little. "Thought I was different for always checking out the Alphas in bars and not Omegas or Betas. In society's eyes, I am different Sam."

Sam wasn't sure what to say to that. Dean sighed and closed his eyes.

"You're not weird Dean," Sam had finally said. "I don't think you're weird, I think...I think that you should think about doing hormone therapy. Maybe even getting the surgery."

"I've thought about it," Dean admitted after a long pause. "I get halfway to the nearest clinic then turn around."

"What stops you?" Sam asked.

"...I don't want to go alone, and it's not like I could ask Dad," Dean answered.

"I'll go with you," Sam said. "If...if you want me to."

"You don't have to do that," Dean replied.

"I want to," Sam said. "If this is something you really want to do and if it'll make you happy then I'll do anything to help you."

"You are such a sap," Dean said.

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss him. "You love it."

"Do I?" Dean asked.

Sam remembers that they don't make it to the clinic. Not after Meg, or when their father gets possessed and Dean nearly dies in the hospital. They don't bring it up. Dean keeps playing the role of a good Alpha. Trying to make their father proud. They meet Ellen and Jo.

Ellen was nice. Jo's spunky and took a shine to Dean and they hit it off. Jo was an Omega and Sam could see why she would like Dean. He's kinda respectable, and nice and good with kids.

Sam liked to tease Dean about it. He can't help it. They'd be kinda cute together. Course he was also jealous because he could see Dean's attracted to her. His visions got worse, and he felt bad because Dean put everything on the back burner to help him.

Sam tried to bring up the hormone therapy again. He started leaving pamphlets. Tried to get Dean to talk about it again. He saw the way Dean looked at other couples. The longing. Sam was tempted to pilfer some Omega hormones and give them to Dean.

He remembers when they're sitting in their motel room. Dean's cleaning his guns, Sam's doing research for a hunt.

"There's a clinic a couple towns over that offers hormone therapy options," Dean said. He doesn't stop cleaning his guns. "I thought...maybe we could check it out after the hunt?"

Sam looked up from his book. Dean was still cleaning his gun not meeting his gaze. But Sam saw the way Dean relaxed when he told him 'okay'. And Dean shoots him a brief smile.

Sam remembers waking up a week later, after they finish the hunt. Wakes Dean up with sex and they spend half the morning in bed before taking a shower together and driving to the clinic.

Sam remembers because Dean's happy. And he loves to see Dean happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Tada fourth chapter :) Fifth and Sixth will be up soon. Please feel to drop any questions you have in the comments section**

 **Four**

"Hey," Sam said. He smiled at Dean shuffled into the kitchen.

He had on Sam's old Stanford sweatshirt and a pair of worn sweatpants with holes in the knee.

"What are you smiling for?" Dean asked. His voice was on edge and he hunched a little as he dumped the coffee that'd been in the pot for the last couple hours and made a fresh batch.

Sam internally winced as Dean banged around the kitchen. Today was gonna be rough. Dr. Roberts had warned them that there would be good days and bad days as Dean's hormones sorted themselves out.

It took Sam a while to understand that Dean wasn't angry with him directly. Most of the time anyway. He tried not to think about Castiel's face when Dean went off at the angel for appearing in the middle of Bobby's kitchen while Dean was making lunch and nearly cut his finger with the knife. Since then, Castiel had learned to call ahead.

"I was just thinking about how nice of a morning it is," Sam answered lamely when he saw Dean waiting for an answer.

Dean muttered something under his breath and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. "Where'd Bobby go?"

"He went to check out a possible haunting with Ellen. Thinks it might be a family of ghosts," Sam answered.

"You didn't go with?" Dean asked.

"I figured we could look at apartments," Sam answered. "I found a couple close by…if you want to?"

Dean nodded a little. "Let me shower and change."

"Take your time, no hurry," Sam told him.

He watched Dean leave the kitchen and picked up the apartment listings he'd printed out when he got back from his jog, after an unsuccessful attempt to wake Dean with morning sex.

The first was only a half hour away from Bobby's. A duplex with the first floor unit available. One with a shared back porch and basement. The rent was cheapish, six hundred a month and it looked like a fixer upper. Sam considered it a nice distraction for Dean.

The second was part of a complex. A bit pricier, but with Sam's new part time job of translating old texts for the local college and Bobby pitching in for the hormone therapy, it was doable. Two bedroom, or one bedroom and one office, with a balcony.

The third was actually a house. One of those mobile homes in a gated community. Sam had been reluctant to even print out the information for it. The website was nice enough though and it didn't hurt to look.

"Ready when you are," Dean said as he walked back into the kitchen. His hair was still damp from the shower and he had pulled Sam's sweatshirt back on but traded the sweats for jeans.

"You want some breakfast?" Sam asked.

"Not really hungry," Dean answered.

Sam knew better than to push. He had already packed the cooler with soda and water and some fruit for when Dean undoubtedly got hungry.

He waited for Dean to pick up the keys to the Impala and grabbed them when the older male made no move to get them. He made sure to lock the door behind them and over to the car.

Dean slid into the passenger seat without a word.

Sam turned on the radio and involuntarily shuddered as _Heat of the Moment_ began playing and quickly switched songs.

Dean didn't say anything but reached down and intertwined their fingers where they rest on his thigh.

The owner of the first apartment was an older Beta. He eyed Sam cooley and gave Dean a side long glance.

"Maybe I should wait in the car," Dean said under his breath.

"No, come on," Sam replied. He wanted to hold Dean's hand but with the way the beta was looking at the two of them he resisted the urge.

Dean shoved his hands in the front pocket of the sweatshirt and Sam heard the unmistakable sound of Dean fiddling with the Impala's keys.

"She's a bit of a fixer upper, basement unfinished. Had plans to convert it into an office before I retired," the man said, as he unlocked the door. "Single bedroom, course you put up a divider. Have a look around."

Sam nodded and followed Dean inside. The living room was spacious and open, with an arch doorway leading to the kitchen.

"What do you think?" Sam asked.

"Seems like a lot of work," Dean answered. "And I don't think he's gonna like the two of us sharing the bedroom if you catch my drift."

Sam looked over to where the man was standing by the door, He looked to be reading over something but occasionally glanced up to look at him and Dean. He looked back at the paper when he caught Sam looking.

"Yeah, I think you're right," Sam said. He sighed. "Some people can be so small minded."

Dean snorted. "Understatement of the century."

Sam chuckled softly.

"It's not a half bad place, but we're gonna try our luck with some place that doesn't have a small minded asshole for a landlord," Dean said as he walked past the man.

Sam caught up to him and grabbed his hand. "So all it took was an asshole to bring you out of your funk?"

"Didn't like the way he was looking at you," Dean answered.

"Pretty sure he was thinking about the two of us defiling his crappy apartment," Sam replied, as he unlocked the doors of the Impala.

"He wishes we'd defile his crappy apartment," Dean said. "What the next place you have picked out?"

"It's part of a complex. It's about an hour's drive from Bobby's place," Sam answered. He gave Dean the listing as he pulled out of the driveway.

"Pass," Dean said. "No condos, or apartment complexes."

"That doesn't leave us with much of an option on places to live, and we can't keep crashing at Bobby's," Sam replied.

"Yeah yeah, I know," Dean sighed.

Sam gently massaged the back of Dean's neck with his fingers. "Did you like the duplex option? Or there's the mobile home development."

"No housing developments." Dean's shook his head. "Let me do a little looking okay?"

Sam nodded and laid his arm across the back of the seat as Dean settled against him once more.

* * *

"You two having any luck on the homefront?" Bobby asked.

"Not really," Sam sighed. He ran a hand through his hair and set down the pen he'd been using to write down the translation's he'd been working on. "Dean didn't like any of the choices I picked out and he hasn't made any mention of finding something he liked."

"You boys don't have to head out so fast, I do enjoy having you here you know," Bobby told him.

"Bobby you've already done so much for us," Sam replied. "I still think you should let me pay you back for the hormone therapy."

"Don't start with that," Bobby said. "You just focus on helping Dean through this. If your daddy were here he'd do the same."

Sam shifted a little in his seat and glanced towards the back door as he heard Dean's footsteps. "I'd like to think so."

"Baby is purring like a kitten," Dean said as he walked into the kitchen. "And shining like a diamond. We should take her for a ride later."

"Yeah?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded and grabbed a coke from the fridge. "Drive down to the lake? Give your brain a break from all that reading."

"Sounds great," Sam smiled.

He watched Dean walk out of the kitchen and heard him go upstairs.

"Rufus called about a demon possession out in Wisconsin," Bobby said as he stood up. "I'm heading out tonight, shouldn't be gone long."

"Yeah?" Sam nodded. "Try to kill the demon and not each other."

Bobby rolled his eyes. "Try to keep your bedroom activities to the bedroom. Some things are better left the imagination you idjit."

Sam blushed and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he drained the rest of his beer.

"Real sorry about that Bobby…" he apologized.

Bobby just patted his shoulder as he walked past him.

Dean returned to the kitchen twenty minutes later in a pair of ratty blue jeans and a thin baby blue sweater. He had his boots in one hand and a blanket in the other.

They packed a cooler with some beer and soda and stopped by the store to pick up some food. Dean kept one hand on the steering wheel while the other was draped across the back of the seat his fingers playing with the ends of Sam's hair.

Sam hadn't realized he'd fall asleep until he felt Dean's lips against his and he smiled a little. He sat up and stretched as Dean pulled back and looked around confused.

"This isn't the lake," Sam pointed out.

"Actually...it is," Dean answered. He got out and Sam followed suit.

"I found the listing online, owner's this old lady. The place used to belong to her husband but he died a few months back and she couldn't handle the upkeep," Dean said as he walked over to the house.

Dean leaned against the porch railing and braced his hands on the wood. He looked at Sam expectantly and Sam looked at the house. It was nice. Nicer than what Sam had originally picked out.

Sam ran a hand through his hair and gave Dean a smile. "How much is she asking for?"

"She's willing to let it go for 5,000," Dean answered.

"...What's wrong with it?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, she just doesn't want it anymore," Dean answered.

"Dean, there is no way in hell someone's going to give away a lake house this good unless there's something wrong with it," Sam said.

Dean rolled his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with the place. Come on, she gave me the keys, let's just...take a look?" He held up the keys.

Sam nodded a little and joined him on the porch. "Alright, we'll look."

Dean smiled and unlocked the front door. Sam wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder as they stepped into the house.

"...Okay...so the outside looks better than the inside…" Dean said after a beat of silence.

"That is understatement," Sam replied. "When was the last time she said her husband came out here?"

"She didn't," Dean replied. "But, look all it needs is a little TLC…"

Sam snorted. "It needs new floors, new wallpaper, I swear I'm getting tetanus just by being in here."

"But it'd be ours Sam...we wouldn't have to worry about paying rent, hell, we could paint the walls pink...really make it our own you know?" Dean told him.

"...We're not painting the walls pink," Sam replied. "She's just asking for 5,000?"

Dean nodded. "That's all she wants."

"It's gonna take forever you know, won't be liveable for at least a month," Sam told him.

"I know," Dean nodded.

"And the lake's not like haunted or anything is it?" Sam asked.

"Triple checked, only things in that lake are fish," Dean answered.

Sam nodded. "If you're happy I'm happy."

"You sure?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure...it might be nice to live on a lake."

Dean grinned.

"...You already told her yes didn't you?" Sam asked.

"I knew you were gonna say yes," Dean answered with a shrug.

"Dean," Sam said.

"Hmm?" Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Run," Sam answered.

Dean laughed as he dodged Sam's attempt to grab him and ran out of the house and towards the backyard. Sam mock growled as he ran after him.

Dean grabbed a low hanging branch and jumped up to grab it, He hauled himself up straddled the branch as Sam caught up to him.

"Oh no fair," Sam said. "Get down here."

"Nope," Dean replied and swung his legs a little. "Show me all those pull up's at five in the morning pay off."

Sam rolled his eyes and jumped up to grab the branch. He pulled himself up and swung a leg over, quickly righting himself before he fell.

Dean smiled. "See, you did it."

"God...this reminds me of that time in highschool and I let some kids talk me going to that old junkyard with the dogs," Sam said.

Dean snorted. "I remember that. You got stuck on the fence and called me to come get you. Had a date that night too you know."

"A date? You showed up with a black eye and a split lip," Sam replied.

Dean picked at a piece of bark. "He was an alpha on the chess team. Nice guy, we grabbed some burgers and on our way out, some guys didn't take to kindly to two alpha's going on dates…"

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"Guy decided he wasn't ready and started dating a nice pretty Omega," Dean shrugged. "And, I decided I'd much rather spend my time making sure you understood that you shouldn't care about what people think about you."

"For what it's worth, that guy was stupid to leave you over something like that," Sam told him.

Dean shrugged. "Different time Sam. Sides, who needs him when I've got you?"

Sam chuckled. "I am pretty awesome."

"You...are more than awesome Sammy," Dean told him. "I know I haven't been the best the deal with lately with all the hormone therapy going on, but I appreciate you being here."

"Where am I gonna go? You won't let me have the car," Sam joked.

Dean rolled his eyes and smiled. "You know what I mean."

"You don't need to thank me for anything Dean, I'd do anything for you," Sam told him. He reached up and cupped Dean's cheek. "You...You're my mate Dean. And my brother and I love you and I would do anything to make you happy."

"You're such a sap…" Dean blushed.

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned forward to kiss him. "Shut up...You love it."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This chapter is from Dean's point out of view and is a bit of a companion to Sam Remembers. As it is Dean's POV there are slight differences with the conversations.

 **Dean Remembers**

Dean remembers the first time he realized he wanted to be an omega. Before Sam was born. Before his mother died. Before it was a blur of dirty motel rooms, crap food and a different bar in a different city hunting a different monster.

He was three. (And really he shouldn't be able to remember that for far back but he does.) And he's with his mom. They're in the kitchen and she's making a pie. Apple. His favorite.

It's warm in the kitchen and cold outside. She made him a small cup of hot cocoa with milk and chocolate and marshmallows.

His dad is at work. So it's just the two of them. When the pie goes in the kitchen they snuggle on the couch. He sips his hot chocolate and she tells him a story of a brave hunter.

He remembers what she smells like. There's a bitter scent. He can never place it, but it's masked by the smell of lilacs and his father's scent. (Nowadays it reminds him off just how similar Sam and their dad are. Both smell earthy) it's comforting. And he wants that. He wants to give that.

Alpha's bring a sense of protection and caution. But he wants to bring warmth and comfort to a home. Into the life of some other Alpha.

When Sam's born and their mother dies, Dean gets a taste of being that comfort. He makes Sam happy. No matter what and it feels natural. It comes easy. He leans the difference between each cry, the difference between a hungry cry, and a tired cry. The play with me cry. And responds accordingly.

Their dad jokes about him being a natural Omega, but there's that glint of hope that Dean is an Alpha. Like him. Alphas are good hunters. Omegas are soft. Dean doesn't mind being soft.

Doesn't mind the jokes. He preens under them. The older Sam gets, the more Alpha he portrays. Always coming to Dean's aid, trying to protect Dean.

It's adorable and it just makes Dean happier because if Sam's an Alpha maybe their dad will still be happy.

The day he presents as an Alpha, Dean is disappointed, to say the least. But John is happy. Happier than he's been in a long time and he splurges on the food. They go to a nice place and Sam and Dean gorge themselves on food before passing out asleep in their motel room.

Dean remember's Sam, ten years old and sprawled on top of him like a human octopus. It's a solid warm weight and it makes Dean a little happy.

He remembers going to the pharmacy and buying scent blocking soap. He remembers spending an hour in the bathroom scrubbing his skin raw with it. Willing his knot to just disappear. Nothing happens. But he calms down enough to eventually get out of the shower and get dressed.

Sam looks at him funny but joins Dean on their shared bed when he sits down and spends the next half hour goading Dean into an impromptu wrestling match. They end up sprawled on the floor in a heap of tangled limbs and breathless laughter.

Three years later, he tries the hormones. He used his five finger discount when the pharmacist was busy. Sam's at school. Their dad's on a hunt. He's all alone.

He takes three and drinks some beer. It's not bad at first. He feels kinda nice. Relaxed. Then he gets sick. He barely makes it to the sink. After that, it's a blur of bright lights and a tube down his throat.

At some point, he registers Sam at his bedside. Thirteen with his baby face and dimples. His eyes are red. Dean wants to say something. But he's not sure what.

He's released a few days later. Their dad says nothing. Just shoves a pharmacy bag into his hand and orders them in the car.

Dean looks in the bag when Sam's asleep, Dean's never told Sam this. The Conversation.

 _"Why?" John asks._

 _Dean shrugs. "I wanted to feel right…"_

 _He clenches the steering wheel. "Why didn't you tell me?"_

 _"What was I supposed to say? 'I don't want to be an Alpha?' That I don't...feel comfortable in my own skin?"_

Dean doesn't like to remember what follows. It's one of the few times he disagrees with his dad. He hates it.

When he finds out there's a name for what he is, Trans-dynamic. It makes sense. He's heard of people who are trans in the sense they are born in the wrong gender, and Dean feels the same way, except he feels born into the wrong dynamic.

It solidifies something in him. He has a name. Something he can research. And he does. Extensively. But secretly. He learns all he can from websites, clinics, doctors. He starts a secret cash fund for hormones. A few dollars here and there. It makes him happy.

He remembers a date he went on in high school, he and some other Alpha went out. He was a clean-cut A+ kind guy on the chess team. It was under the pretense of some extra tutoring. Course they didn't study.

He was a nice guy Dean remembers. Things were going smoothly. They hadn't made it to the sex part yet. They were leaving some mom and pop ice cream shop and when they were leaving, there were some guys from the football team. A few Alphas couple Betas.

It got nasty after that. Dean got a black eye for his troubles. The other guy couldn't handle it and left with Dean's understanding.

Dean was saved from drinking himself into a stupor by a phone call from Sam. Poor kid got stuck on a fence.

He never tells him what happened that night. Not for years, instead, he tries to teach him that a person is a person no matter what and that he shouldn't be so quick to judge. Sam, of course, looks at him weird but he's pleased Sam takes it to heart.

When Sam presents, a late bloomer at the ripe age of sixteen, it's enough to calm the waters. Their dad's busy on a hunt, but he sounds proud when Sam calls him.

Dean's proud and disappointed. Sam's not his little Sammy anymore. Sam was already a couple inches taller than him. Not quite as muscular yet, but still big.

They celebrate together. Dean buys beer and Sam's favorite foods to cook since they've got an actual kitchen. The beer turns into something stronger, which somehow turns into Dean offering to give Sam a blow job.

He's impressed. Sam is big. Thick with a decently sized knot at the base. Dean swallows and vaguely wonders what it would feel like inside him.

It's not uncommon for two Alphas to find release between each other, but they're brothers and Dean's already erased some line that was once between them the second his lips wrap around the head of Sam's cock.

Sam grabs Dean's hair and thrusts up into Dean's mouth. Dean has to brace his hands on the floor while he lets Sam use his mouth. It doesn't last long. A couple minutes at best and it surprises Dean.

It's thick and tastes oddly sweet but still musky. He swallows what he can and sits up to catch his breath.

Sam has a dopey smile on his face. Dean drinks some beer while Sam tucks himself back into his pants.

They fall asleep on one of the bed. Sam uses his octopus limbs to wrap around Dean and it feels nice. A warm solid body behind Dean. Sam, whether intentionally or not, nuzzles Dean and slots a leg between Dean's and it feels natural. Like they were meant to sleep this way.

It's not new to Dean. When Sam was little Dean would sleep wrapped around his brother's small frame. Keeping him safe.

Things start to shift between them. It's little things at first. Sam comes up with some excuse for how they could save money if they get one room and he and Dean share like they used to.

John agrees, saving money for more bullets and guns makes sense.

Dean doesn't really protest, he doesn't think anything of it until he wakes up wrapped up in Sam's arms, or Sam sprawled on top of him, or him on top of Sam. Achingly hard.

He takes cold showers. Jerks off furiously to thoughts of Sam and he feels like something's wrong because he shouldn't feel this way about his brother.

So he goes out to bars. Picks up cute Omegas, sometimes a Beta, on the rare occasion an Alpha. Dean likes the solid weight on his back that comes from being taken by another Alpha.

Most of the ones he picks are rough. It's rare he gets gentle. He doesn't dare request for it. The fact that he's even picking up other Alphas is considered taboo.

Sam catches him one afternoon. It was risky to bring some Alpha back to the room with him in general. In the afternoon, it's suicide. But Sam was supposed to be at the library and their dad is on a hunt.

She's gorgeous. A curvy redhead, who's all too happy for him to show her how much he appreciates her. She's smaller than Sam though. Thinner too. Not that's he's disappointed.

The filth coming out of her mouth as she takes him. He's in his own little slice of Heaven. Then Sam walks in. She makes a joke about him joining before Sam runs off, the hotel door slams behind him.

Dean's suddenly not so in the mood for an afternoon delight, but he sucks her off and lets her come down his throat before he takes a shower and waits for Sam to come back.

He does. He's drunk off his ass, giggling. Dean vaguely remembers some girls from the highschool really into Sam and the whole 'homeschooled since we always travel' vibe so he figures that's where he got the alcohol. He gets him water and aspirin for the hangover and helps him to bed.

If Sam remembers what he saw the day before he doesn't say anything. A couple weeks later they have sex in the back seat of the Impala. It's fast and dirty. The car rocks on his frames. Sam's got his mouth latched onto Dean's throat mouthing and sucking on his scent gland.

Dean can't stop the noises coming out his mouth even if he wants to. He's keening and digging his fingers into Sam's skin. Whatever he can grab and riding him like there is no tomorrow.

It's wrong. He knows it's wrong, he should be joking with Sam while they clean up. Teasing him about some Omega or Beta that wants to get with Sam, not fucking him in the backseat. Incoherently begging him for it to be harder and faster.

Afterwards, they somehow manage to squeeze themselves to lie on the backseat. He's smart he at least remembered to grab the ratty blanket from the trunk. They'll have to stop by the laundromat and shower to get rid of the scent of sex.

Dean should roll down the windows to air the car out. He's sure he can pass it off as sex with another person. Even if he has to lie about it being some random Alpha Chick.

 _"Can I ask you something?"_

 _Dean almost doesn't hear him._

 _"Already did," Dean jokes._

 _Sam's quiet again and he keeps running his fingers up and down Dean's back. "Do you like being an Alpha?"_

 _"...No," Dean admits. "I don't...why?"_

 _He feels Sam shrug and he stops tracing his arm. "How come?"_

 _"I don't know...I just, don't feel right as an Alpha...I feel like I'm acting most of the time. Just going through the motions…" Dean answers._

There's more after that, Dean doesn't like to dwell on that, it was weird to have that conversation after Sam had his dick up his ass.

There were more stolen moments after that. Sneaking kisses in the middle of the night in their shared motel bed. The risk made it a little hotter but he wasn't really thinking about the risk. They weren't even having sex, for the most part, it was just kissing and hand-holding when they were alone.

The next time they do have sex, it's...it's primal. It's rough and fast and there's biting and Sam's just everywhere. So much so Dean hardly remembers most of what exactly goes on. He knows he passes out when he wakes up though, Sam's gone. All that's left is a note.

Dean is proud of course. Sam managed to get out of the life. And he hopes he's happy at Stanford and he tells him as much, but as time goes on, he stops calling so often. Sam's busy with school, doesn't always have time to talk and when he brings up Jess, Dean leaves some message about things between them should end, he's not sure if they were still even going on, and he wishes him a good life with Jess and that's it. He stops calling.

It hurts at first, and he spends a few nights drinking by himself. John is angry. He's not sure when he started referring to him as John and Sir and not dad. He doesn't call Sam. But Dean knows he drives by to check on him.

Dean stops taking the scent suppressants in an effort to be more like the son he should be. He stops picking up Alphas in bars and goes for Betas. Sometimes an Omega, sometimes they're willing to indulge him. It's not the same. It's not Sam. It's not supposed to be Sam he has to remind himself.

It's two years before he sees Sam again. When their dad goes missing. He relishes the feel of Sam's body pinning him down and can't stop the goofy grin that comes on his face. He feels terrible when Jess dies, and he wants to do anything to help ease the pain.

He plays the brother role then. He doesn't cross the line that's been redrawn between them. He does going back to his research. He's still got money saved, it's not a lot, not yet, he starts picking up pamphlets and he knows Sam sees them but doesn't say anything. Part of him wants to talk about it, the other part wants him to stop. Just give up and be the Alpha their father wants.

Of course, it's their father who finds them. To kill a nest of vampires who have a colt that could kill the Yellow-eyed Demon.

Of course, Sam and John (he still doesn't know when he makes that change) are almost at each other's throats. Dean, of course, tries to intervene and defuse. It's tense, but they make it work.

It's after, when they're in their hotel room, cleaning each other up. Dressing wounds, taking stock. To this day Dean has no idea who started it. It starts in the shower. They're washing the blood off each other then they're kissing. It's a mesh of teeth and lips before they tumble out and he's got Sam against the wall, the sink, before stumbling to the bed amidst their bloody clothes.

He speaks first this time. They're sprawled out on one of the room's beds. He's carding his fingers through Sam's hair and Sam's got his head on Dean's chest.

 _"It never felt right…" he says._

 _"Being an alpha?" Sam asks._

 _Dean nods. "When I was younger, it was like an itch you know? Like even before I presented I just knew, and then I presented...it felt wrong."_

 _"Don't know, you feel pretty right to me," Sam grins._

 _He chuckles and looks down at Sam. "Such a sweet talker." He drops his hand as Sam starts to sit up._

 _"How come you never told dad?" Sam asks._

 _"What was I supposed to say?" Dean asks "'Hey dad, I know you're super proud of having two sons who are Alphas, but I'd rather be an omega and take a fat knot right up my ass'. I couldn't even buy scent blockers without him giving me this look like I had rejected him. So I went with it. I played the part he wanted me to play and it wasn't bad, it got better when you presented. I know, before, you were just humoring me-"_

 _"I wasn't humoring you, Dean," Sam interrupts._

 _"Yes you were, you thought I was weird for always wanting to let you fuck me. Manhandle me, boss me around in the bedroom," Dean shrugs a little. "Thought I was different for always checking out the Alphas in bars and not omegas or betas. In society's eyes, I am different Sam."_

 _He can see Sam's struggling to find the right words. There are never right words in this conversation. Dean closes his eyes._

 _"You're not weird Dean," Sam finally says. "I don't think you're weird, I think...I think that you should think about doing hormone therapy. Maybe even getting the surgery."_

 _"I've thought about it," Dean replies. "I get halfway to the nearest clinic then turn around."_

 _"What stops you?" Sam asks._

 _"...I don't want to go alone, and it's not like I could ask Dad," Dean answers._

 _"I'll go with you," Sam offers. "If...if you want me to."_

 _"You don't have to do that," Dean replies..._

 _"I want to," Sam tells him. "If this is something you really want to do and if it'll make you happy then I'll do anything to help you."_

 _"You are such a sap," Dean says._

 _Sam rolls his eyes and leans down to kiss him. "You love it."_

 _"Do I?" Dean asks._

They never made it to the clinic though. Not after Meg. Not after their dad gets possessed. Not after Sam's visions get worse. He goes back to being the good little Alpha. He redraws that line.

They meet Ellen and Jo. He likes Jo and Ellen scares the crap out of him. He thinks she knows about him. About what he wants. What he really wants. Jo's cute. Spunky. If the fear of Ellen that makes him keep Jo at arm's length.

Sam teases him. He can sense jealousy behind the words. Maybe a bit of longing. But he tries. He tried hard to keep that line uncrossed.

He tries to ignore the pamphlets Sam keeps leaving out. His secret fund is stalled again. Last he checked there was a couple thousand. He's good about not touching it. He thinks Sam knows about it but doesn't say anything.

He breaks that line though. After he sells his soul. After Sam comes back to him. he doesn't care that it's on the floor of some dingy cabin, or that Bobby could walk in on them.

He remembers when they're sitting in their motel room. He'd cleaned his guns, Sam's doing research for a hunt.

"There's a clinic a couple towns over that offers hormone therapy options," he says. He doesn't stop cleaning his guns. "I thought...maybe we could check it out after the hunt?"

He chances a glance up and Sam's smiling. He agrees of course and Dean relaxes.

He remembers a week later being woken up by a blow job, and then sex and then kisses in the shower. It's all...domestic and relaxing.

They actually make it to the clinic that time. Dean remembers. Sometimes, he doesn't want to. Not when there a day when he just wants to curl up in bed and sleep for days. Angry for snapping at Bobby or Castiel.

But he remembers because it all leads up to him doing something not for anyone else, but for himself. Because he deserves it.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: A little scenting between unoffical mates Sam and Dean. Still a couple more chapters to go~

 **Six**

"You sure you don't mind me going on that hunt with Garth?" Sam asked as Dean sat down with their drinks. "I'm sure he can handle that werewolf on his own.

"For the last time Sam, go, you're driving me crazy okay? Bobby's gonna come up this weekend and Castiel's going to try and help," Dean told him. "Let's just have fun tonight. Look, I splurged and got that good beer."

Sam chuckled and wrapped his arm around Dean. "Everyone's staring at you-you know."

"Are they?" Dean asked.

"Course they are," Sam answered as he nuzzled him. "You smell amazing, and those jeans, I have half a mind to bend you over right here."

"Jeez Sammy, what's got you all riled up?" Dean asked. He drank some of his beer.

"We're not gonna be together…" Sam answered.

"We've been apart before Sam," Dean reminded him. "For longer than a week."

"I know," Sam sighed and picked up his own beer. "It was different than, those were out of our control. This is...and it's different."

"How is it different?" Dean asked.

"I know we're not...mated but it feels like we are and you're going through the therapy and some days are better than others and I know we can call each other, but I'm gonna miss your grumpy little shuffle into the kitchen in the mornings and cuddling with you on the couch and watching crap TV…," Sam admitted.

"You'll be gone for a week Sam, maybe a week and a half at the most," Dean told him. "Can you honestly tell me you won't enjoy a week apart? The freedom to do what you want without me bitching about it?"

"I happen to find your bitching endearing," Sam huffed.

"Sure you do princess," Dean patted Sam's thigh as he drained his beer and stood up. "Gotta take a leak."

"If only your mannerism changed too," Sam joked as he rolled his eyes.

"You still love me~" Dean replied. He kissed his cheek before heading to the bathroom.

Sam tapped his foot on the ground as he waited for Dean to return and finished off his beer.

The bar they were in was more costly than most of the dives and roadhouses they went to. He couldn't pronounce half the drinks on the menu but Dean had recommended it and he was already dressed in those ass hugging jeans and a soft baby blue t-shirt. So he couldn't really say no at that precise moment.

But the longer they were there the nicer it was. The music was decent too, he was surprised considering Dean wasn't really into the new mainstream thing.

He looked around and wondered what was taking Dean so long. He spotted him over by the bar talking to another person. It was another woman Sam summarized.

She was beautiful too. Exactly Dean's type in a woman. A large breasted slim figure and a redhead. Sam tightened his grip on his beer. He doesn't like to remember that time he walked in on Dean with a similar looking Alpha years ago.

He was jealous then and he's getting jealous now. She reached out and touched his arm. Dean caught his eye and his lips quirked up into a small smirk.

"That little," Sam huffed. "Fine, two can play that game."

He knew that Dean smelled more Omega than Alpha now. After almost a year of hormone therapy, it'd be worrying if he didn't. He also knew that despite smelling like an Omega, Dean still had some of his Alpha...tendencies. One of which was pushing Sam's buttons. But this time it wasn't going to work.

He glanced up and this time watched the redhead move her hand just a little lower and lean in to speak over the loud music. Whatever she said Dean agreed and they joined the other mass of bodies on the dancefloor.

Sam growled under his breath and drained his beer before he got up and walked over.

"Can I help you?" the redhead asked.

"Yeah," Sam answered. "You're dancing with my mate."

"Your mate?" she laughed. "Honey I don't know if you've noticed, but he doesn't have a single bond mark on him and he doesn't even smell like you."

Sam wrapped an arm around Dean and all but dragged him to his side. "Back off."

He didn't wait for her response as he dragged Dean out of the bar and back to the Impala. He shoved him up against the door and dug his fingers into Dean's hips as he kissed him. He worked his way lower and felt Dean's breath hitch before he found himself held back at arm's length.

Sam blinked confused a couple times. His gaze dropped down to Dean's hands on his chest holding him back then looked back at Dean confused.

His cheeks were flushed a deep scarlet masking his freckles and he didn't look Sam directly in the eye.

"Dean…" he asked softly.

"You...you started to scent me," Dean half whispered half stated.

Sam chanced a glance around and saw that a few people had stopped to watch and his own cheeks heated.

"Just...let's go," Dean managed. "Please."

The drive back to Bobby's was in silence. Dean stayed on his side of the car and somehow managed to make his larger frame as small as possible and wouldn't look at Sam.

"How'd it go?" Bobby asked.

Dean kept his head ducked as he darted upstairs to their room. Sam dropped the keys on the table by the door and went after him.

"Idjits," Bobby muttered.

"Dean, Dean I-"

He grunted as Dean suddenly knocked him onto the bed and kissed him.

"Do it," Dean said as he straddled him.

"Do what?" Sam asked.

"Scent me," Dean answered. "I...I'm gonna miss you, and...and I only meant to make you just a little jealous at the bar, and then she started talking about bond marks and scents and then you...you started to scent me and I just….do it Sammy. Please. I...I want you to scent me."

"Dean I...are you sure?" Sam asked. "We've never talked about this before."

"This is us talking about it," Dean answered. "Please Sammy. You're gonna be gone for a week and I...it didn't bother me before, maybe it's the hormones I don't know, everything is...Sammy I...I need this."

"Okay," Sam nodded and reached up to cup Dean's face. "Just, take a deep breath for me okay?"

"Sam-"

"Deep breath Dean. For me."

Dean rolled his eyes a little but did as told and took a deep breath. He exhaled slowly and let out a small yelp as Sam suddenly loosely pinned him to the bed.

"As much as I like you like dressed, I like you undressed even more," Sam said nonchalantly as he started to undress Dean.

"You're gonna get naked too right...I wanna scent you too," Dean replied. He averted his eyes as his cheeks flushed pink again. "I mean if that's okay."

"I would very much like that," Sam told him.

Sam took his time as he undressed Dean. He wanted to give him ample time to change his mind if it got to be too much.

That was new territory for them. Scenting each other. They had never dared to do it when their dad was alive and Sam doesn't have any recollection of it happening when he's little.

Sam had always wanted to. Show everyone who Dean belonged to. Even when they were both Alphas.

His lips quirked as he slid his fingers down Dean's chest and to the waistband of his jeans.

"What?" Dean asked. His breath hitched a little as Sam leaned down and kissed his neck. It was just a few inches from his scent gland.

"Nothing," Sam answered.

He tugged Dean's jeans off and tossed them on the floor. The pink bikini style panties followed suit.

Sam skimmed his fingers over Dean's skin.

"Come on Sam…" Dean was flushed pink had closed his eyes to hide to embarrassment.

Sam had already packed a few of Dean's shirt in his duffel and he knew Dean would no doubt confiscate half of Sam's while he was gone. But this...this was different. This was scenting. This would be letting every Beta, Alpha, and Omega know that Dean was taken.

Sam took less care as he undressed, his clothes joined Dean's on the floor.

Scenting didn't necessarily have to be done naked, but Dean's body was more responsive than Dean himself. His body would tell Sam what Dean wouldn't.

He took his time with it, not wanting to rush. Dean's breath hitched every so often and the lower Sam got the more the more his fingers tightened in his hair.

"I can stop," Sam told him.

"No!" Dean shifted a little. "No…It's just…" He took another breath. "No one's scented me since mom…"

Sam sat up to look at him. "...not even dad?"

Dean shook his head. "I mean...I know this is different than a parent scenting their child, but it's...this means that you want to be with me Sam...if you do this Sam, this is it. There won't...can't be any more breaks between us okay? We can't suddenly just go back to being brothers and acting like this never happened."

"Hey," Sam sat up all the way this time and cupped Dean's face, "I am in this with you for the long haul. You haven't scared me off yet."

"Bitch," Dean huffed with a small smile.

"Jerk," Sam returned the smile and kissed him.

Dean kissed back and Sam nudged his legs further apart so he could lie between them and they kissed languidly. It was nice.


End file.
